I'd like to point out that I attended this pool party wearing capris and a tee shirt. That's how awful my body image was. There was absolutely no way I was putting a bathing suit or even shorts on in public. A year later I'm not afraid to wear shorts or a bathing suit in public. It is incredibly rewarding to look at this post and see how far I have come.
I've added some comments to this post. Anywhere you see italics is a 2012 addition.
July 4th. This is one of my favorite holidays (Christmas is first for those that are interested) and one of my most challenging. Here's a brief list of the things that will challenge my will power and self-esteem today:
1. Delicious picnic/cook-out food (Picnic food is no longer a challenge. I love the way I eat and know how to have just one or just one bite of something)
2. My beautiful friends in adorable bikinis (Still adorable; but not intimidating. I have a very cute suit that makes me feel fabulous)
3. The strong desire to sit in a lawn chair and do nothing but enjoy my freedom. (Absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, today that will be what I do because tomorrow I'm running a 5K. The problem lies in never getting out of the lawn chair.)
Bitching and whining would be an incredibly easy way to deal with all this. It would also be easy to just stay home and celebrate America's independence alone. I just don't think our forefathers would want that. Somehow I believe that they want me at that pool party enjoying the gift of freedom and watching others blow stuff up. So here's how I'm going to fight the evils that will test my will power today:
1. I'm going to the gym. If I have to drive to Goose Creek to find one that's open, I will do that. Cardio is my friend today. (I did go to the gym that day! I did not have to drive to Goose Creek)
2. I'm bringing my own delicious picnic food. I'd much rather eat a piece of hormone-free, chicken breast with a little honey mustard than a chemical laden, God-knows-where-the-meat-came-from burger or hotdog. I'm also bringing a supply of fresh fruit to nom on when the sweets show up. One of my sadist friends will surely bring brownies or cookies. (I absolutely did this and still do. I also brought several types of hummus with veggies to share with the crowd. Bringing your own food is perfectly acceptable in most circles. If your friends have issue with this, you might need new friends)
3. I'm going to remember how hard I've worked to drop 2 measly pounds. The past few weeks haven't been fun. A little cheating today will NOT be worth it tomorrow. (I'm in maintenance mode now so I am a little more free to "cheat." This doesn't mean that I do it all the time. I know how hard I've worked to lose 40 pounds and how crappy I felt last year. If I want a taste, I will have one. Everything in moderation.)
4. I have the faith that next year I'll be beautiful in an adorable swimsuit. Bikini isn't off the table, but it isn't quite on it either. (Not ready for a bikini, but I do have an adorable polka dot two-piece. I even own more than one! I'm not embarrassed about my body in a bathing suit any more.)
Gotta run, the ellipitcal awaits. Happy Independence Day! (No elliptical today since it's a rest-before-a-race day.)
Find your own independence today. While you celebrate America's freedoms, celebrate your own. I know I will!
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